While on our honeymoon in England, Potts and I picked up a collection of Roald Dahl's short stories to read on the train from Falmouth to London. We came upon one story that involved a beekeeper, his wife, and their frail infant daughter. The baby refuses to eat until the beekeeper comes up with a very creepy plan to make her gain weight. And to this day in the Potts/McCoy household, one of us need only utter the title of this story to make the other break out in shudders: "Royal Jelly."
So here's to the works of Roald Dahl, skeeving out children and adults alike for over fifty years, in the best way possible.
From The Witches:
"Grandmamma," I said, "if it's a dark night, how can a witch smell the difference between a child and a grown-up."
"Because grown-ups don't give out stink-waves," she said. "Only children do that."
"But I don't really give out stink-waves, do I?" I said. "I'm not giving them out at this very moment, am I?"
"Not to me you aren't," my grandmother said. "To me you are smelling like raspberries and cream. But to a witch you would be smelling absolutely disgusting."
"What would I be smelling of?" I asked.
"Dogs' droppings," my grandmother said.
I reeled. I was stunned. "Dogs' droppings!" I cried. "I am not smelling of dogs' droppings! I don't believe it! I won't believe it!"
"What's more," my grandmother said, speaking with a touch of relish, "to a witch you'd be smelling of fresh dogs' droppings."
"That simply is not true!" I cried. "I know I am not smelling of dogs' droppings, stale or fresh!"
"There's no point in arguing about it," my grandmother said. "It's a fact of life."
To celebrate Dahl Day yourself, take a quiz, use the word 'gobblefunk' in a sentence, or read up on Dahl's short stories for adults. And check out "Royal Jelly." Eek.
In other news, not everyone is happy about Roald Dahl Day.
Dear reader, life is too short for crap books.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
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3 comments:
Hi, thanks for the link. And so glad to have discovered your lovely blog. I will be back for more :)
Until now, I didn't know anyone else who read that story. I read it when I was about 12 years old in a collection called Tales of the Unexpected.
Yeah, I know. Like THAT was a good idea...
Just typing the title gives me the heebie jeebies.
Dahl is incredibly unsettling about 75 percent of the time. Heck, really consider "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory" for a moment.
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