Dear reader, life is too short for crap books.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Been Workin' Every Day Since I Was 20: A Job Meme

Last night, I was kept awake until approximately 5 with a throbbing headache and an overly busy brain. After an hour or so of staring at the ceiling, I tried to come up with a chronological list of every job I've ever held.

NOTE: This absolutely DOES NOT work as a sleep aid; however, it was rather interesting, because in all, there are nearly THIRTY different paying jobs on my list, some of which I'd completely forgotten.

I may be shiftless, but I'm exceptionally hard-working.

So, needing to mine a little something of use from my insomniac night, here's a little work meme for y'all -- tag, you're it:

Three jobs at which you were effortlessly talented:

1. hotel maid (I was the fastest maid on our crew, probably because I was the most desperate to clock out and go home.)
2. high school teacher (I believe I reached most of them, except perhaps for the child who brought a gun to school.)
3. information architect (I just know where stuff's supposed to go, although one would never guess it to look at my home.)

Three jobs at which you were hopelessly incompetent:

1. waitress (never could figure out how to hold the big tray on my shoulder)
2. assistant to interior decorator
3. artists' model (though I DEFY any of you to hang upside down off the back of a chair for two hours in front of a class of art students while dressed as a circus performer... actually, come to think of it, I acquitted myself rather well)

Three jobs you've had that people are always really curious about:

1. grape picker (easily the most painful, back-breaking job I've ever had)
2. relay operator for the deaf (easily the most soul-crushing, although this had more to do with my employers than the job itself)
3. hotdog vendor (easily the most insane co-workers)

Two depressing life lessons found in your resume:

1. Even if you have a masters degree, you can still wind up slinging hotdogs.
2. I made more money harvesting grapes for a week than I have ever made writing.

One lesson about human nature you learned on the job:

1. While working as a HoJo's maid, I learned that one man staying by himself in a hotel room will barely turn back the covers, and will disturb little more than the remote. Two or more men staying in a hotel room will completely trash the place.
And here's my list of chronological work experience. The jobs in bold are the ones that resulted in the best stories:

lawn girl, babysitter, cleaning lady, barista, library clerk, hotel maid, artists' model, office assistant, museum volunteer manager, painter of dorm rooms, receptionist, barista again...

and THAT's just before I got out of college...

high school teacher, assistant to interior decorator, bookshop clerk, fundraiser for public television, bass player, waitress, bartender, grape picker, relay operator for the deaf, library clerk again, information architect, website designer, hotdog vendor, librarian


Larry said...

On my own since I was 19. My jobs:
Shoveling sidewalks; mowing lawns; paper route; trombone player in the city band; test subject in an auditory perception experiment; janitor; truck washer; package unloader (United Parcel Service); truck driver (UPS); test subject in another auditory perception experiment; music critic for the college paper; student assistant, fine arts reference at a university library; student assistant, general reference at a university library; busboy; intake clerk/typist, juvenile court; hand screw machine operator; music copyist; classical music critic/feature writer at a dinky daily newspaper; copy editor at a dinky daily newspaper; copy editor at a major U.S. newspaper; blogger; And I'm probably forgetting something.

mary_m said...

Larry, I didn't know you played the trombone! That's the job I want to hear about.